...Just keeping the Record straight....

               I'm writing this post after some time has past, as it has become clear that in the month or so there have been struggles with both physical and mental pain. Although dealing with my Sciatica, has no where been the same as the hurt of losing loved ones. 
        I am now compelled to add posts from the past Journals that I had  written in the '70's, so that I may have time to over come the sadness that recently was brought into my life.

          ....November 3rd 1973.......
    
      I have finally gotten to the point of organization, a complete month of disorientation and situations of disbelief have now brought me to a point in my life where someday I will revisit and make more studies of my past life formations....for now though, time will have to be reconciled and hopefully in that it should take my mind and all that is around it will fit better into a more complete operation, which will run smoothly forever.

         .....November 8th 1973.......

     This relation reflects Octobers enormous change upon the Lifestyle of my family...the closest..myself will be discussed first, others will fit in with their necessary roles.
     My time is not right for continuing my writing, I will therefore delay once more my personal writings.....

         .....November 18th 1973.....

    Sunday..?..a day of rest..?  Not to be this one, I'm scared and nervous, the results will come in time.
    Today is for God, whom I believe, not in the religious sense, but as a 'Watcher' of individuals, and a guiding hand, so that we can Pray today and may Peace and happiness come from it.

        .....November 20th 1973.....

     "Stick to mainstream, leave sensationalism to others displayability to handle responsibility. Older individuals could open doors of major opportunities. Maintain steady pace...Capricorn, and Cancer persons could figure Prominently"
             ...Taurus...April 20th....May 20th....

       There is one more thing I have to copy for today and for today only. This song came down on me so hard, I couldn't help but cry and laugh with full force. At the same time I would like to have it here so that I will remember both the deep past, present and near future....it's from Cat Stevens, 'Father and Son'.......

     'It's not time to make a change, just relax take it easy, you're still young, that's your fault there's so much you have to know.
     Find a girl settle down, if you want you can marry, look at me I am old, but I'm happy.
     I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy to be calm when you've found something going on. But take your time think a lot why think of everything you've got, for you will still be here tomorrow, but you're dreams may not

     How can I explain, 'cause when I do he turns away again, it's always been the same 'ol story. From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen, now there's a way and I know that I have to go away...I know I have to go....

    It's not time to make a change, just sit down take it slowly, you're still young, that's your fault, there's so much you have to go through. Find a girl, settle down, if you want you can marry. Look at me I am old, but I'm happy.

   All the times that I have cried keeping all the things inside, it's hard, but it's harder to ignore it. If they were right I'd agree, but it's them they know not me, now there's a way and I know I have to go away...I know I have to go....

    This was from Cat Stevens, album 'Tea for the Tillerman', and was most fitting for me today, and always.....

    
        .....November 23rd 1973........

 
   Work seems to come easier now after my Thanksgiving with Meri. I still have fear for the future, but if feelings like this could happen every once and awhile, I would be grateful.

   My next picture is in the work, only hoping for mild enjoyment in the finished product.....

       ......November 27th 1973......


    Another long weekend with an explosive tale. My thoughts have been clarified Monday night, but to no avail. Today I start again, only thinking of Meri, and why she couldn't receive my calls. 
    No matter now, fore I will soon talk to her and hopefully regain my trust in her.

    Dave is now in close range, and I will depend greatly on our upcoming talk, Thursday night. Then I will write more fully on him, detailing a more complete understanding of the whole situation. Maybe then I will be able to let my free thoughts wander onto my life, as I see it in the near future.

    How can life be full without complete knowledge of what is happening around us....we must grasp every minute, and hold on tight until we know every detail of what has happened, and what will happen if we let go.


        .....Time is now floating, as I am now floating..
              endless and without fast. Why then can't 
              this time can't be slowed down, or sped up?
              My time as I see it can no longer be of an even level,
              so I must discard all thoughts of time, and believe
              in the ultimate movement of life.
             To me there can be no time, just the movement of life,
              on a day by day sequence  where you react naturally, 
              to each given circumstance.....